This is a journey that i am currently on. Its a journey of love, a journey of the heart.

To begin, i spent so much time fighting and trying to show this man that i loved him so.

I tried to show him how much i cared. How much i needed him in my life, but i always felt like I was falling short. I tried and tried and tried.

My mind had become completely preoccupied with trying to show this man just exatly what he meant to me and then I became completely exhausted.

When he decided it was over, it broke my heart. But why? He had never took the time to show me what i meant to him. I shouldnt have ever been treated the way that he treated me and yet I was still completely in love with him.

As the week went by, i grew stronger. I convinced myself that I did not need him. That someone else could make me smile and laugh and would show me how much i mean to them. I found myself not caring what he did anymore because it was just more proof that he didnt want me in his life like I wanted him.

As soon as I was about to completely shut him out of my life, he came running back. But still, i stood there not believing a single word he said. He said he loved me (for the first time in 5 months), without me having to say it first. And I felt nothing inside.

He is trying so hard now so show me what I mean to him. he is fighting for my heart. But where was this for the past year and a half that we were together? I have wanted him to treat me this way for such a long time and now that he is, i feel empty. Am i punishing him for how he treated me or am I really just over him?

The truth is, i'm not sure where to go. I believe in forgiveness, but is this a forgiveness where I should give him another chance or is this a forgiveness where I move on? I'm not sure if my journey should end here with this particular man, but as of right now, this journey of my heart is still in the process.